Love & Relationships

Love, Closer Than It Seems

frog-prince

It is possible to be looking so hard for something that you actually look right past it, right through it, and don’t recognize when it is right in front of you.  This happens sometimes in the world of dating and when seeking a partner.  You may have criteria that your “ideal” partner is supposed to meet; when sometimes there is a person that has been a part of your life before, a “friend” that you feel is best to remain in that zone, or someone in your environment who you simply do not consider a potential mate.  It is possible that the most unlikely person is the one that deserves a chance.

                I’m not saying that this is always the case.  But I’m sure you can recall times in your own life when you didn’t give much attention to someone at the time, then wondered later if you should have put more effort into exploring the relationship.  At the moment, it was easy to overlook the possibility of a relationship – but looking back, you can more clearly see there were missed opportunities.  Luckily, as we experience such things, we gain wisdom.  We can be inspired to be aware of opportunities that are around us now that deserve more attention.  This does not simply apply to dating and relationships, but several situations that we breeze by without giving more energy to it – never knowing what things could have become.

                It is important to know your own core values, have clear boundaries, and know that you deserve the best – however, you don’t want to have a checklist of requirements so stringent that only a fantasy character from a comic book could meet them.  God brings people into our lives that are somehow who we need and not always exactly what we think we want.  By keeping your heart and mind open enough to explore the meaning of the connection, and allowing it to evolve without short-circuiting it with preconceived notions and unrealistic expectations, you may find that your most suitable match is closer than you think.

 

Inner Renovations, Love & Relationships

How Do You Let Go of Someone You Want?

Walking Away From Love

There seems to be a misconception that relationships are only supposed to end if interest is lost or the love is gone. It is obvious it’s over in those cases and breaking up is a no-brainer. But what about those times when the love is still there? The desire is still strong, but the person keeps hurting you or overstepping their boundaries? You don’t really want them to go away, you’d prefer they just change for the better… but they won’t. This is a dilemma.

When the pain outweighs the happiness, there is more disappointment than joy, and the negative feelings surface more than the positive; one finds themselves having to ask whether or not the relationship should continue. Your Spirit screams NO this should not continue! Then the little voice of the heart and mind says “But I love him/her… “

How many people have been in relationships that they knew undoubtedly needed to be over a long time ago, but remain in it under the pretense of being “so in love” with someone they know isn’t good for them? ME! I’ve had my share. That’s one hand raised. Any others?

I’m not referring to the standard relationships that have their ups and downs, but to those that have become predominantly draining, negative and maybe even abusive (including physical, mental, verbal or emotional abuse).

We have to stop using our watered-down and skewed perceptions of what love is as the excuse to remain in unhealthy relationships. Once a connection with someone begins to take more from your life than it adds to it, its time to let go. And if you’ve stayed in an unfulfilling situation for too long because you LOVE THE OTHER PERSON so much; try something new and remove yourself from the situation because you’ve decided its time to LOVE YOURSELF even more.

From the outside looking in, it’s easier to spot someone who is in a relationship with someone who is sucking the life out of them. But when it is us that is in the situation, we tend to rationalize our reasons for remaining in a relationship that is not enhancing our lives.

Learn how to recognize energetic/emotional vampires. They don’t always do it on purpose, but these type of people will suck the life right out of you under the guise of being in a relationship and loving you. If loving someone exhausts you, or hurts more than enhances you – its healthier to love yourself enough to let it go.

~ CCB