DBT Skills Training Module: Distress Tolerance
The DBT skill Radical Acceptance is a transformative practice that invites us to fully accept reality as it is, without judgment or resistance. It is about acknowledging the truth of the present moment, even when it is painful or difficult, and choosing to let go of the struggle against what cannot be changed. Radical Acceptance doesn’t mean approving of or liking the situation—it means recognizing it for what it is and making peace with it. By practicing this skill, we free ourselves from the additional suffering that comes from fighting reality and instead open the door to healing, growth, and effective action.
WHAT IS RADICAL ACCEPTANCE?
- Radical means, ALL THE WAY, COMPLETE, and TOTAL
- It is ACCEPTING with your mind, heart, and body.
- It is LETTING BE instead of fighting against reality.
- It is LETTING GO of bitterness and ACCEPTING reality.
WHAT HAS TO BE ACCEPTED?
- Reality AS IT IS (the facts about the past and present are the facts, even when you don’t like them).
- There are positives and negatives in life for everyone; opportunities and limitations on the future for each person in the human experience. That is reality.
- Every effect in life has a cause, whether the outcome is joy or pain. Nothing “just happens,” and Radical Acceptance recognizes there was a path to the current circumstances – even if it was indirect and unclear, or no making of your own.
Practice Radical Acceptance when you can AND can’t identify a cause.
Life can be beautiful and worth living even with painful events in it. A dialectical life view is: Life is BOTH painful at times AND still worth living. There are times of Joy AND Pain in the same life. Sometimes we are disappointed AND there are many moments of success. That is the reality to radically accept.
WHY ACCEPT REALITY?
- Because rejecting it doesn’t change it.
- If reality CAN be changed, it first requires accepting the truth of it in the present.
- Pain can’t be avoided and is a part of life; it’s nature’s way of signaling that something needs attention.
- Rejecting reality can turn short-term pain signals into long-term suffering. (This is the difference between PAIN and SUFFERING. You do NOT have to suffer).
- Refusing to accept reality can keep you stuck in hurtful emotions like: unhappiness, anger, shame, bitterness, etc.
- ACCEPTANCE may result in temporary sadness, AND deep calmness with inner freedom usually follows. There is a RELEASE & LETTING GO of hurtful/harmful emotions which are eventually replaced by the ACCEPTANCE.
Reference: Linehan, M.M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
Inner Renovations Toolbox 