DBT Skills Training Module: Distress Tolerance
Find the Willingness to Act with Wise Mind. Take note of when you are assuming a Willing vs. Willful posture towards situations. The differences between being Willing vs. Willful are shared below.
WILLINGNESS
- Cultivate a WILLING response to each situation.
- Willingness is DOING JUST WHAT IS NEEDED in each situation, in an unpretentious way.
- It is focusing on effectiveness.
- Willingness is listening very carefully to your WISE MIND, acting from your inner self.
- Willingness is ALLOWING into awareness your connection to all – to the earth, to the floor you are standing on, to the chair you are sitting on, to the person you are talking to.
- Willingness is helping in areas where you can be of service within healthy boundaries; as well as willing to ask for help when you need it.
WILLFULNESS
- Replace WILLFULNESS with WILLINGNESS
- Willfulness is SITTING ON YOUR HANDS when action is needed, refusing to make changes that are needed.
- Willfulness is GIVING UP.
- Willfulness is the OPPOSITE OF “DOING WHAT WORKS,” it is the opposite of being effective.
- Willfulness is trying to FIX every situation. Some versions of trying to ‘fix’ are actually ways of trying to ‘control’ the situation.
- Willfulness is REFUSING TO TOLERATE the moment; refusing to ‘just be’ and ‘let be.’
APPLY THE SKILL
In what situations have you been practicing more Willingness? In what situations have you been more Willful? What changes can you make, now that you are more mindful of the difference?
Reference: Linehan, M.M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
Inner Renovations Toolbox 