Inner Renovations, Poetry & Musings

broken forgiveness.

forgiveness

I struggle with forgiveness.

It’s easy to talk about letting go and letting God.

But doing so is one of my greatest challenges.

Giving up control is an almost impossible feat for a control freak.

Letting go is a tall order when I am used to holding on to everything for dear life.

Loving with a broken heart, trusting through broken faith,

smiling through pain is difficult for even the most well put together of us.

Some of us have mastered the art of falling apart

and putting ourselves back together again before anyone notices.

Put back together so well that you have to get up close and personal to notice the cracks –

this being the reason for my distance.

It comes easy for some; saying the right thing, feeling the right way,

even knowing what’s right in the first place.

Often times, I can’t tell.

I express what’s in my heart, say what’s on my mind,

and have too many feelings at one time to know what is right.

Often, I am wrong.

People struggle to forgive me.

They talk about letting go and letting God.

But doing so is one their greatest challenges.

 

Inner Renovations

On My Mind Now: A Formula for Personal Peace

workout
photo credit:  gethealthyu.com

Right now I am thinking about peace. But not the world peace type. More of the being able to remain peaceful even while doing things I don’t really want to do type. See, I just finished working out. I didn’t like it. Some people get all pumped up about hitting the gym and are genuinely excited about sticking to their amazing workout regime (like the woman in the photo) – but not me. I do it because I love myself, I love my body, I’m over thirty and I like cookies a lot.

The good news is, that I am able to center myself and get to an internal space where I can experience a sense of calm even while doing things I’m really not enjoying at the moment – like working out, or interacting with people I’d rather not, or cleaning up, and any other less than fabulous task that is required of me.

When I remind myself that God has a plan for me that I don’t yet know about, and that I want to be ready to step into my destiny when the time arrives, that motivates me to calmly press through challenges knowing that something greater is on the other side of it. That’s a formula for personal peace.

I no longer expect my circumstances to always be favorable. I do expect that my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors will stay in alignment with my purpose so that I can travel with the peace that comes from knowing I’m still headed in the right direction.

~ CCB

Inner Renovations, Poetry & Musings

change.

Today, the sky is different.

The clouds drift in a curious way.

My steps are the same, but the ground feels unfamiliar.

I wonder if there is something waiting for me.

Unidentifiable feelings fill the space around my heart.

Undefined thoughts skip about my mind.

Around me there is calm.

The kind that precedes the storm.

I have nothing with me, but my faith.

Whatever comes, this will be enough.

I do not fear not knowing.

Change is life.