I listened to myself
more than I listened to you today.
Things
went
well.
~CCB
I listened to myself
more than I listened to you today.
Things
went
well.
~CCB
I dared
to say what I was thinking
without thinking of you.
I gave myself permission
to let my heart open
and speak from it,
the truth.
~ theChanelCB
I will not ignore you
And I will not be ignored.
I’ve been out of the darkness
longer than I was in it.
I can forgive myself.
She is no more.
~ CCB
Today, the sky is different.
The clouds drift in a curious way.
My steps are the same, but the ground feels unfamiliar.
I wonder if there is something waiting for me.
Unidentifiable feelings fill the space around my heart.
Undefined thoughts skip about my mind.
Around me there is calm.
The kind that precedes the storm.
I have nothing with me, but my faith.
Whatever comes, this will be enough.
I do not fear not knowing.
Change is life.
It was under there the whole time.
I took it for dead, not looking past the wooden casing that symbolized
that its work had been done, its battle had been won. But not the war.
Maybe a part of me wanted it to be over, to lay it to rest.
I was exhausted and so was my youth.
But no sooner had I made peace with our last days together,
did the thunder clap a rhythm that brought us back to life
like a cosmic defibrillator.
It wasn’t over. There was still more to love. Still more to war.
I’ll mistake you for dead again, my youth.
I’ll believe the murmuring of the crowd and the mirror’s lies,
long enough to accept it as truth.
But you won’t let me.
For another hundred years tiny rocks will sneak into my sandals
as my calves ache and my thighs burn from the climb.
And you’ll tell me that I love it.
I’ll vehemently deny you, and bury you
and attempt to prove that I can’t take another step.
Until I am waking up to us dancing to that eternal rhythm,
telling you that I love it.
Grateful that you are always there.
Approaching the future with great expectations.
I don’t see failures, only lessons learned.
Ambition and passion burn brighter than fear.
Everyday that’s survived is another stripe earned.