As far as my internal conflict
Is concerned, for now,
I’m at peace
With being at war.
yesterday I wouldn’t have thought twice
about what you thought of me.
but it seems I’ve grown a concern of some sort.
one that inspires reflection on my words
and examination of my thoughts.
concern about how our interactions affect you.
you see, I do care.
regardless of what I say, or what it seems.
I do care.
I tapped myself on the shoulder
until I got my attention.
then I finally turned around
and realized it was you.
the saddle became uncomfortable.
ride was long, not to mention lonely.
and the beast itself constantly needed to be fed.
I never arrived where I was going
and it was hard to smell the flowers with my nose up in the air.
so I swung my leg over and prepared for the mile long dismount.
back to earth, touching down.
and bid goodbye to my high horse.
There seems to be a misconception that relationships are only supposed to end if interest is lost or the love is gone. It is obvious it’s over in those cases and breaking up is a no-brainer. But what about those times when the love is still there? The desire is still strong, but the person keeps hurting you or overstepping their boundaries? You don’t really want them to go away, you’d prefer they just change for the better… but they won’t. This is a dilemma.
When the pain outweighs the happiness, there is more disappointment than joy, and the negative feelings surface more than the positive; one finds themselves having to ask whether or not the relationship should continue. Your Spirit screams NO this should not continue! Then the little voice of the heart and mind says “But I love him/her… “
How many people have been in relationships that they knew undoubtedly needed to be over a long time ago, but remain in it under the pretense of being “so in love” with someone they know isn’t good for them? ME! I’ve had my share. That’s one hand raised. Any others?
I’m not referring to the standard relationships that have their ups and downs, but to those that have become predominantly draining, negative and maybe even abusive (including physical, mental, verbal or emotional abuse).
We have to stop using our watered-down and skewed perceptions of what love is as the excuse to remain in unhealthy relationships. Once a connection with someone begins to take more from your life than it adds to it, its time to let go. And if you’ve stayed in an unfulfilling situation for too long because you LOVE THE OTHER PERSON so much; try something new and remove yourself from the situation because you’ve decided its time to LOVE YOURSELF even more.
From the outside looking in, it’s easier to spot someone who is in a relationship with someone who is sucking the life out of them. But when it is us that is in the situation, we tend to rationalize our reasons for remaining in a relationship that is not enhancing our lives.
Learn how to recognize energetic/emotional vampires. They don’t always do it on purpose, but these type of people will suck the life right out of you under the guise of being in a relationship and loving you. If loving someone exhausts you, or hurts more than enhances you – its healthier to love yourself enough to let it go.