BLAME is an interesting tool that works two ways. It is the proverbial double-edged sword.
On one end it can be pointed towards others to shift responsibility away from yourself.
The other end can be turned on yourself to take responsibility for things that aren’t your fault.
I suppose that’s why its closely related to one of the “Unhelpful Thinking Styles” in CBT called Personalization – An event happens that you view as your fault or another person’s fault when really it was no one’s. The reality is that someone does not always have to be at fault. There does not always have to be someone to blame.
Do you need to release yourself or anyone else from blame and shame about things that have passed and cannot be changed? Is it time to forgive the past and accept the present?
Repeat this thought every once in awhile to start releasing yourself and others from blame and shame that is causing you pain:
“I FORGIVE YOU. I FORGIVE ME.”
The toughest days are the most meaningful. They are tests of our strength. On these days we get a front row seat to what we’re really made of. Until we face trials, our ability is in theory, because no one really knows what they would do in a situation until they are in it. So be thankful for the days that you get to really live, instead of just conceptually live.
Some of us run towards challenges. Some run away from them. The common denominator is that challenges always come. It is best to face them, and consider the curve balls coming at you as an obstacle course – there to help you get more efficient at maneuvering difficult situations as you become more adept at rolling with the punches. This shift in perspective of challenges helps you move from thinking the world is against you when things go wrong, to realizing that even what is seemingly negative can work in your favor. Understanding this is understanding how “all things work together for good,” for those who know Love. This perspective helps you to love your life in the good times and the not-so-good times, and to remain in a place of appreciation and gratitude for what is offered to you.
If you wonder how some people seem to withstand storms with smiles on their faces and hope in their heart, the mystery is here solved. They live from a framework of “this too shall pass,” and “what doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger.” The fact is, it’s safe to say that all of the adversity that you’ve experienced in your life hasn’t killed you – and I bet you’re stronger for it, wiser because of it, and have experience that you can share with others because you’ve survived and grown from it.
So, welcome your obstacles. See them as a gift. Thank the difficult people in your life for being your greatest teachers. Wink at your bad days as you tell yourself that what goes up must come down, so after being down you must be on your way back up. Embrace the flow of life. Tie up your shoes to give your ankles adequate support for those tough times that are handcrafted to make you tougher.