Inner Renovations, Positive Mindset for Life

When We Were Super Heroes

InnerRenovations.com

We’ve traveled through various stages of life and have somehow managed to successfully reach adulthood. But many are experiencing some sort of stagnation, a stalemate as if life is no longer full of excitement and the outlook has become all but dismal. If you’ve noticed that you’ve lost momentum, are becoming unsatisfied with your existence or find yourself looking up at the sky and asking, “now what?”… IT’S TIME TO SET NEW GOALS

Somewhere in our adult lives we find that we do not have that same fresh outlook that we did when we were younger. You remember the time when you believed you could do almost anything. From flying, to creating magic – there were no limits to what you thought you had the ability to accomplish. Of course this was pre-disappointment… pre-heartbreak… pre-failure… pre-setback. It’s a little more difficult these days to have the same hopes and dreams when you feel that you may possibly be let down. The fact is, you are impacted by what you have experienced. Welcome to the post-disappointment stage in life, which brings us to our first new goal.


GOAL #1 – REMEMBER YOURSELF BEFORE THE DISAPPOINTMENT

You must find the ability to reconnect with a part of your life where you did not mind giving it all you had; because it was prior to the time that you started believing you could fail. This is the state of mind from which you will accomplish your greatest goals. You may notice that there are several things you think about doing, but you stop yourself. Why? Because it may not work, you say. What is the use in putting forth the time, energy and effort in something that may not even give you the results you want? Valid question. But what is even more valid is that no one has ever accomplished anything without first recognizing the possibility of failure. They work hard to overcome those odds in order to attain what they desire. As an adult, its okay to acknowledge the possibilities but in order to overcome any paralyzing fear that keeps you from stepping outside of your comfort zone; you will find it helpful to embrace that youthful part of yourself and your mind that imagines you still have the power to accomplish what your heart desires.

GOAL #2 – STOP MAKING EXCUSES & RE-DECLARE YOUR PURPOSE

I’m too old. I’m too fat. I can’t, the kids need me too much. I don’t have enough money. I work long hours. I don’t know anyone that can help me. I didn’t get a degree in that. Pick your favorite. Then throw it out the window because the excuses as to why you’ve not continued to make your life a better place to be, are of no use to you. You are more than likely an individual who has accomplished quite a bit in your life. And now you are ready to move on to experiencing something that will bring a gust of fresh air into your existence. Its time to re-declare what you feel you are here to do and what you want. Its time to re-discover and re-declare what gifts you have to share with others. Its time to do your research to find new and innovative ways that you are able to utilize your natural talents and abilities.

GOAL #3 – FREE YOURSELF FROM THE SUBCONSCIOUS STOPWATCH

Do you feel like there is a little man chasing you with a stopwatch, constantly reminding you that you are running out of time? In the early part of lives, it seemed like we had forever to do what we needed to do. Now there is a different sense that many experience, of not being able to accomplish what is needed before they reach a certain age. What is interesting is that the fixation on time and the idea of running out of it, actually works against us and we end up doing significantly less. Try to remember a point in your life when you were not so restricted by timelines. You went to elementary school everyday – not so much doing the work because you were worried about graduating – but because you knew it was something you needed to do. And besides, there were many great experiences to be had and people you liked were there. Its important to take the same approach as you move through the various projects, professional obligations and personal goals at this point in life too.

GOAL #4 – GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK, ALREADY

Stop being so hard on yourself. The people will already be critical enough of you, they don’t need your help. Somebody has to be in your corner, believing in you, cheering you on… it may as well be YOU! We spend so much time thinking about the should have, could have, would have that we often forget that we still should, can and probably will – just as soon as we uninvite ourselves from our personal pity party. It takes just as much energy to tell yourself that you need to lose weight as it does to tell yourself that you are looking and feeling good at this age. Choose the latter, you’ll love yourself for it more… literally.

GOAL #5 – AFFIRM THAT YOU ARE A ROCK STAR

Even if you really don’t want to put in the work to become a bonafide rock star, simply affirm to yourself that you ARE one anyway. Think about when you were a child. Do you remember what it used to feel like when you imagined that you had manifested all of your glory? Do you remember what you always thought you would grow up to be? Someone wonderful, loved and powerful. It’s not too late, but first you will have to change your perception of who you are now.

There is nothing wrong with adopting the mentality that you are great. There is nothing wrong with feeling good about yourself and having a self-assured disposition. When you stand in front of a group of people and have to give presentations or even in general conversations where all eyes are on you… don’t shrink and become insecure. On the contrary, make it your show! Love yourself and project that love and others will love you too. Exuding confidence is contagious and those you interact with will believe in your words and vision the same way you do.


Dig deep and find that “S” emblem that you used to wear on your chest. Supermen and Superwomen must rediscover themselves through the eyes of their childhood. Only from this place will there be a rejuvenation of the pure hope and uncut faith that is needed to reach the new goals that you will begin setting for yourself. Move forward with the idea that what you want is already a part of your destiny; and all you must do is travel the path to reach your already blessed future.

~ CCB

Heart & Spiritual Wellness, Inner Renovations

Re-Establish Yourself in Love

reestablished in love


Over the years, you may have noticed that many changes have occurred in the way that you see things, do things, and the way that you feel. This could be attributed to maturity, or the natural changes that occur with time. However, if we look carefully enough, we may see that some of the changes that have come about are of a more protective nature – defenses that have been created in order to keep from being hurt again.

Have you noticed that you’ve become less trusting? Or maybe a bit more standoffish? And what about your sense of security, been feeling more insecure lately? It is interesting because there was a notion when we were children that we would organically become stronger in those areas as adults. But fact of the matter is, due to the pain and disappointments we’ve endured, it is possible that we have become even lower functioning in certain areas. So what do you do when you find that’s the case?

After becoming emotionally distant, distrusting, guarded, jaded (and all of the other defensive responses that occur as a result of our heartbreaks, setbacks, and letdowns) it is important to take a few rejuvenating steps to get back on track and work towards positive mental health.


Be willing to admit the areas you’re struggling in.

                If you’re anything like me, you’ve done a great job at convincing yourself that, sure you have a few things to work on but you’re not doing that bad, right? It is one of the grandest tricks that we play on ourselves – ignoring what we need to be working on by making claims that we could be worse. This is true, we could always be worse, but that does not give us permission to downplay the areas that need improvement. We have to be willing to admit where we are falling short, notice the areas that give us the most trouble, and acknowledge that we could stand more development to be happier, healthier, mature individuals.

Ask for feedback, accept it graciously.

                It is not always obvious to us where we are the most vulnerable. In fact, if our defense mechanisms are doing their jobs effectively, then we may actually believe that we are doing just fine and it’s everyone else with the problem. So don’t be afraid to ask those that care about you, where they perceive you are the most vulnerable. Say, “What are my hotspots, what subjects do you tiptoe around when talking to me, what have you noticed sets me off?” Trust me, they will jump at the opportunity to tell you what they’ve been thinking but needed your permission to say. It is up to you to be prepared to receive the information in a healthy way.

Ask for help, build supports.

                Now that you’ve had some heart-to-hearts with yourself and others, you at least know a few things about yourself that have been holding you back. Maybe you’ve heard that you’ve started being difficult to talk to or make a connection with. Maybe you’re now aware that you’ve become paranoid about others’ intentions towards you. Perhaps you took an honest look at your need to be perceived as perfect and have decided that is a lie way too hard to live up to. Whatever it is that you’ve discovered, the next step is to ask for help with the matter. Go to God in prayer and ask for these character defects to be removed, and ask to be shown how you should go about making changes in those areas. Yes, we’re intellectuals with amazing resources and cool technology but let us not underestimate the power of prayer when we’re trying to make real change. Also, look for professional and self-help resources in the areas that you are working on so that you have an arsenal of material to feed your mind while you are on the journey overcoming those ways about yourself that you’ve decided just aren’t working anymore. Build good supports with friends and family. Just let them know what you’re targeting and give them permission to draw your attention to old patterns so that you have an accountability team with you along the way.

Step outside your comfort zone to get unstuck.

                If there was a way that we could change with very little effort, I’d be taking that way. There isn’t one. In fact, it is grueling work rewiring our brains that are used to following the same circuits for years and years. So the only way that we are going to create new patterns, more constructive roads towards success, is to take the uncomfortable way. You can’t work on your problem of being closed off until you’re willing to risk opening up to someone. You won’t be able to resolve that social awkwardness without putting yourself into more social situations. You aren’t going to be able to overcome the tendency to distrust others until you give someone else a chance. Steps like these are outside of our comfort zone, but until we are willing to get back in there and create new experiences, we are stuck in our pseudo-safe little boxes that have stunted our growth. To get unstuck requires courage and risk.

Re-establish yourself in love.

                What is your default setting? In various circumstances do you default to fear? Anger? Frustration? Complaining? Take some time for self-examination and determine what your default mode is. Then think about how it would feel if your most common inner experiences involved: love, peace, contentment, acceptance, appreciation, and other life-giving states like these. You can create that atmosphere in your life. By putting everything back into its proper perspective, where God is the center of it all; and having an accurate perspective of who God is (Love), you can re-establish yourself in something that transcends your shortcomings and the problems of this world.

Re-establish yourself in love, and operate from that space. No longer allowing ourselves to crystallize in our defenses, we remain open to the experiences that are brought into our lives and accept that all will work together for the good of those that love the Lord. We do not wallow in our past or allow the behaviors of others to influence our state of mind, but instead consistently affirm that we are borne of love, protected by, and here to share love.

We trade our fears for the greatest thing of all, Love. We keep our feet firmly rooted like trees planted by the water, continuously re-establishing ourselves in love until we are like those described in the Psalms – bearing fruit in our season, prospering in all we do.

~ CCB

Inner Renovations, Videos and Media

Be Yourself. No Permission Needed.


Think of the years that have been wasted attempting to modify who you are in hopes that you will be more acceptable to others. We don’t like to admit that we do this. In fact, if anyone asks us we’re prone to deny it and respond with some cliché statement like, “I don’t really care what anyone else thinks.” Yeah, we do. And it hurts us when we’re receiving messages from others, especially those we care about, that our ways are undesirable.

Of course, there are exceptions to every rule and there are those people that we don’t give a hot flip what they think – but overall, as humans we read the feedback in our environment and we’d prefer it be positive. That is normal. But we can also take it too far. We can take caring about what others say about who we are so far that we end up losing ourselves trying to be who they want us to be. We have to be careful of this, because sometimes we don’t even know it’s happening. You can get so involved in your career that you develop the personality that enables you to do your job well but could be out of alignment with who you truly are. Or you could be in a relationship with someone that you love dearly, and in trying to make them happy you inadvertently begin to compromise how you would usually express yourself. These situations can go on for a long time, but one day you decide that you are ready to reconnect and rediscover who you naturally are so that you can begin to live in your truth again.

Being your authentic self is easier said than done. First, as we accumulate experiences and get older, our views and perspectives change. We change so much over the years that it may be necessary to re-evaluate our goals and set new ones, and we may even have to discover who we are and what we want at the current stage in life. So being yourself, may require fresh self-examination to determine who you are now. You know who you were, what you’ve been through, and where you’ve come from – but who are you now? That’s not an easy answer for everyone, and we all deserve the opportunity to explore ourselves in whatever way necessary to discover our truth. This requires time and space.

You’ll need to give yourself permission to take whatever time is needed in your journey to self-discovery and self-realization. These things don’t happen overnight. In fact, it’s a lifetime journey so you may as well get comfortable. You’re going to need space, which also isn’t so easy to come by if you’ve got little people running around you all the time or a mountain of other responsibilities that cause you to be involved with others more than you’d like to be. Bottom line is that making time and creating space for yourself to engage in the self-discovery that it’s going to take to realize your authentic self is going to take major effort. You’ll have to schedule it and let nothing stand in your way when you decide to take that hour out of your day for your prayer, meditation, devotion, and visualization time. You’ll have to be just as adamant about contributing to your own development as you’ve been about helping people with theirs. If someone asked you to be there for them for an hour, you’d probably do it. So how about be there for yourself so you can take your work (of realizing and expressing your authentic self) to the next level.

~ CCB

Inner Renovations, Therapeutic Yoga

Off The Mat Into The Fiery World

yoga elements

I’ve come to the conclusion that it is better to do something, anything – take some action, any action, rather than do nothing at all for too long. Yes, there are times when we need to listen to that inner voice and simply be still. But if we’re still all the time then we won’t get anything done. Let’s not allow our zen to highjack the work we must do to accomplish our destiny. It is so attractive to roll out the mat day after day, stretching and releasing the tension and just allowing ourselves to escape the drama of the day by sinking deeply into our space of personal peace and connection to All That Is. “Just leave me alone in my little world. Let me stay in my quietude in the private corners of my life – undisturbed by you.” But if that is ALL we do, we are quite literally defeating our own purpose.

What we learn on the mat, and in meditation we must take off the mat and into the world to put our wisdom to use. The peace that we’ve cultivated isn’t simply so that we can drift off into our private heavens while ignoring our reality, but to go out and be able to face the challenges of our reality while using our skill to work through the tension and return to harmony.

I only write things that I have to remind myself of. As a counselor, I do have the opportunity to share with others insights and skills developed, not only through clinical training, but also through the intuition and increased awareness that comes in meditation as you learn to listen to the voice within and experience the multiple ways that people communicate with each other – even when they’re not talking. I remind myself that all of our wisdom and understanding is only of use if we are contributing to the progress of our spirits and healing of hearts as a human family. I hope that you remind yourself of this too. To close the books sometimes and take what you’ve learned and teach someone. And to come out of your sanctuary and go into the streets to share what the Lord has been speaking to you. It is so attractive to stay comfortable in our personal spaces, experiencing the peace and balance that often comes with solitude, but the real test of our growth and balance is when we can maintain that state while interacting with our brothers and sisters in this fiery world.

~ CCB