Inner Renovations, Videos and Media

Be Yourself. No Permission Needed.


Think of the years that have been wasted attempting to modify who you are in hopes that you will be more acceptable to others. We don’t like to admit that we do this. In fact, if anyone asks us we’re prone to deny it and respond with some cliché statement like, “I don’t really care what anyone else thinks.” Yeah, we do. And it hurts us when we’re receiving messages from others, especially those we care about, that our ways are undesirable.

Of course, there are exceptions to every rule and there are those people that we don’t give a hot flip what they think – but overall, as humans we read the feedback in our environment and we’d prefer it be positive. That is normal. But we can also take it too far. We can take caring about what others say about who we are so far that we end up losing ourselves trying to be who they want us to be. We have to be careful of this, because sometimes we don’t even know it’s happening. You can get so involved in your career that you develop the personality that enables you to do your job well but could be out of alignment with who you truly are. Or you could be in a relationship with someone that you love dearly, and in trying to make them happy you inadvertently begin to compromise how you would usually express yourself. These situations can go on for a long time, but one day you decide that you are ready to reconnect and rediscover who you naturally are so that you can begin to live in your truth again.

Being your authentic self is easier said than done. First, as we accumulate experiences and get older, our views and perspectives change. We change so much over the years that it may be necessary to re-evaluate our goals and set new ones, and we may even have to discover who we are and what we want at the current stage in life. So being yourself, may require fresh self-examination to determine who you are now. You know who you were, what you’ve been through, and where you’ve come from – but who are you now? That’s not an easy answer for everyone, and we all deserve the opportunity to explore ourselves in whatever way necessary to discover our truth. This requires time and space.

You’ll need to give yourself permission to take whatever time is needed in your journey to self-discovery and self-realization. These things don’t happen overnight. In fact, it’s a lifetime journey so you may as well get comfortable. You’re going to need space, which also isn’t so easy to come by if you’ve got little people running around you all the time or a mountain of other responsibilities that cause you to be involved with others more than you’d like to be. Bottom line is that making time and creating space for yourself to engage in the self-discovery that it’s going to take to realize your authentic self is going to take major effort. You’ll have to schedule it and let nothing stand in your way when you decide to take that hour out of your day for your prayer, meditation, devotion, and visualization time. You’ll have to be just as adamant about contributing to your own development as you’ve been about helping people with theirs. If someone asked you to be there for them for an hour, you’d probably do it. So how about be there for yourself so you can take your work (of realizing and expressing your authentic self) to the next level.

~ CCB

Inner Renovations, Positive Mindset for Life

Do Yourself a Favor. Worry Less.

 

Full Serenity Prayer


We tend to think about the things we want to do. This makes sense, especially when you’re a goal-oriented visualization enthusiast who understands the importance of seeing it before you get there. However, we also have to consider the things we need to do less of. What is it for you?

  • Eat less?
  • Sleep less?
  • Argue less?
  • Work less?
  • Worry less!

We’d all be better off if we worried less. As a counselor working with many people struggling with addictions, the Serenity Prayer is weaved into the fabric of my daily life. And because every person has their own vice (some are just more intense than others), the prayer in its entirety is applicable to us all.

Many are familiar with the foundation of the prayer:

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.

In our quest to worry less, there is much that can be learned from these simple yet meaningful lines. Look at the situations in your life now. How many of them are beyond your control to change? If you could accept those things as areas that are outside of your jurisdiction to resolve, and surrender it to that which is greater than you, there would be a lot less to worry about. This assumes that you are connected to your spirit in a way that you at least acknowledge that you were created by something/Someone that loves and wants the best for you.

On the flipside of accepting the things we can’t change is finding the courage to change the things we can. Sometimes we don’t even notice when we are carrying stress from the things we feel we are leaving undone. We may have noticed area of ourselves and our lives that deserve more attention, situations that need to be made right, causes that deserve our energy – yet we are taking little to no actions in these areas. It doesn’t sit with us well. We allow our anxieties and insecurities keep us from taking actions that could change our own and others’ lives for the better. If we were able to find the courage to finally change those things that are within our power to do, there would be a lot less to worry about. We would feel like we are being true to ourselves, being useful, and making a difference in the world. This is fulfilling and brings us to a place of satisfaction and self-love, ultimately decreasing the time that we spend in stress and worry.

Finally, there may be confusion about the difference between those circumstances that we need to accept and the ones we need to be working on. This is no easy feat. When something has become more challenging than we feel we’re capable of handling, do we let it go or give it our all? Do we let nature take its course or do we acknowledge ourselves as a force of nature and continue to give our best efforts? The only way to solve such mystery is through discernment and wisdom. From where does this wisdom come? God. Once again we come to the importance of having a connection with something greater than ourselves so that we can afford ourselves the opportunity to lay down some of the stress that we’ve been carrying on our shoulders and our backs, causing us to feel worn, exhausted, and aged. We have options. It is not necessary for us to continue traveling through life carrying the burden of our own and others’ worlds, when we can worry less by practicing acceptance, discernment, and staying connected to our source to grow in wisdom.

~ CCB

Heart & Spiritual Wellness, Inner Renovations

What Have You Done For You Lately

first love yourselfWe work overtime for others ~ attending to their needs, paying attention to what is important to them, trying to figure out what we can do to make their worlds a better place to be. But when it comes to giving that same love, affection & attention to ourselves it is often put on the back-burner as we focus on so many things around us.

At what point do we stop to make ourselves the priority? Not in a self-centered, egocentric, selfish type of way; but in a self-preserving, accepting and nurturing kind of way. It’s time to do something important for yourself – turn up your self-care.

Become More Aware of Your Inner Dialogue

What are you saying to yourself? Are they self-encouraging thoughts that help you get through difficult times? Or are they self-defeating thoughts that make it difficult to love yourself? It’s time to start thinking in ways that give you that little extra push, like you have a personal life coach in your head encouraging you to move forward. This is a great way to start taking care of yourself. Communicating to yourself that you are:

* special

* worthy

* loved

* beautiful

* successful

* talented

* lovable

* and anything else you can think of to show love to yourself!

Check Your Credentials

Remember that you are no rookie to this life thing. You have earned a few stripes and deserve awards for the things you have already accomplished. Surely you recognize your own strength by now. Remind yourself of what you have already been through and how far you have come in life. There is nothing wrong with reviewing your list of accomplishments to serve as a little pick-me-up from time to time. As you set and reach new goals, make sure they are about what you want and not about what someone else wants for you. Be great for yourself!

Love Others Without Losing Yourself

There are very special people in our lives that we love, and we want them to be happy. That’s great! But there is someone else in each person’s life that deserves to be happy too… themselves! The same way we go out of our way to create beautiful moments and comfortable situations for the people we care about, we have to care enough about ourselves to do the same thing for us. Love, but not so hard that you disappear in the process. There’s a pattern to it that goes like this:

1. Love others

2. Love yourself

3. Love others

4. Love yourself

5. Love others

6. Love yourself

You get the picture.

Some people are really good at projecting an image of self-acceptance and confidence, but don’t actually feel the sense of love for who they are and what they’ve accomplished. Let it be real for you. Treat yourself with the sort of understanding and appreciation that you give to others.

Today, why not remind yourself that you have found the wisdom in mistakes that have been made; you accept the current circumstances as being yet another step moving you closer to your destiny; and you look forward to being a great support system for yourself – with unconditional love for YOU.

~ CCB